Venus in Aries and Mars in Cancer: A Square

Venus in Aries: what you are drawn to

Venus is the placement that answers what attracts you and how you show affection, and it is a far better guide to somebody's love life than their Sun sign. With Venus in Aries you are drawn to directness. Somebody who says what they want on the first evening rather than the fourth.

You show affection by pursuing, immediately and without much strategy. What you need in order to feel loved is to be chosen obviously, and quickly, and the thing that reliably puts you off is ambiguity, and anybody who makes you guess. That last one is worth knowing, because the turn-off is usually more consistent across a lifetime than the attraction.

Mars in Cancer: how you go after it

Mars is the other half: how you pursue, how you argue, and what you want physically. With Mars in Cancer you chase indirectly. You get close and wait to be invited the rest of the way.

You fight by withdrawing, which the other person often does not notice is a fight. What you want is closeness, and to feel safe before anything else. And the way it gets stuck is sulking rather than saying it, which is the specific failure mode of this Mars and the thing most worth watching for in yourself.

The angle between them, and why it matters

Aries and Cancer are three signs apart, which is 90 degrees apart, a square. This is the part that makes the combination more than two separate placements, and it is the part almost every page about Venus and Mars leaves out.

The friction one. What attracts you and how you chase it pull in different directions, so you repeatedly want somebody you are badly equipped to pursue, or pursue in a way that puts off exactly the people you want.

The cost attached: it is tiring, and it is also the configuration most likely to produce somebody who is genuinely good at relationships, because it forced the question early.

Fire and Water are different elements, so even where the angle is easy there is a genuine difference in material between what you want and how you go about getting it.

What this actually looks like

In practice: somebody drawn to directness. Somebody who says what they want on the first evening rather than the fourth, who pursues indirectly. You get close and wait to be invited the rest of the way. Because the two are at odds, there is often a gap between the kind of person you are drawn to and the kind of approach you actually make, and that gap is where most of the trouble lives.

The argument version is worth thinking about separately. You fight by withdrawing, which the other person often does not notice is a fight, and you need to be chosen obviously, and quickly. Those do not sit together easily, and the usual result is arguments that end without the thing you actually needed having been said.

What to do with it

1. Check it against your actual history rather than against how you would like to be. Venus and Mars are descriptions of a pattern, and the pattern is in what you have done.
2. Watch for sulking rather than saying it. That is the specific way this Mars goes wrong and it is the most actionable thing on this page.
3. Say what you need out loud. Venus in Aries needs to be chosen obviously, and quickly, and nobody can supply that by inference.
4. Stop treating the friction as a flaw. This configuration produces people who are good at relationships precisely because it made them think about it early.

Where to read next

Venus in Aries in full and Mars in Cancer in full cover each placement on its own. Venus square Mars covers the aspect itself, for anybody whose Venus and Mars are close enough in degree for it to count properly rather than merely being that many signs apart.

Which houses these two fall in is the part that makes it personal, and that needs a birth time. Here is how to find yours.